Halloweenie

Happy Halloween (last week)! What? You can't tell what my girls are dressed up as?

 

Cinderella and Gus Gus, obviously. Sadie loved the dress, but not the tiara, which is just ironic because when we bought that costume in Boston we dropped the tiara in the store and spent an hour or so looking for it; refusing to buy it unless it came with the tiara.

 

When Sadie was wearing it, it was usually more like this

The girls first wore their costumes to the ward party, which Sadie loved. 

All of her wildest dreams come true- a spider painted on her face, a Halloween bucket with 2 pieces of candy she refused to put down, and a donut. 

Elise was....not as thrilled. She went to sleep about 2 seconds after this picture was taken.

On Halloween night we headed out for Sadie's first trick-or-treating experience.

 

Leesie with the basement dweller. Whitney stayed behind to give out candy. 

It took Sadie a couple houses to get the routine down, but once she got it she couldn't be stopped. She looked all sweet, but if anyone held their candy bowl low enough, Sadie went back for seconds and thirds. It was actually pretty fun trick-or-treating in our neighborhood since we knew everyone (in good old Orem, where everyone in the neighborhood is in our ward). A bunch of people insisted on giving me and Daniel candy also, and we readily accepted it. 

After about an hour and 2 buckets full of candy we headed home. Sadie was actually more excited about giving out candy than trick-or-treating. We ran out of candy and turned off our light. When our doorbell rang again Sadie ran to our candy bowl, realized it was empty, and brought her bucket of candy to the door. I reluctantly opened it, thinking Sadie wouldn't actually give away her candy. Um, nope, think again. She was thrilled to do it. She did this for the next hour or so, until almost all her candy was gone. 

 

 I took the rest of Sadie's candy and we ate it. She totally forgot about it. Think we can keep that up for, oh, the next 10 years or so?

LJJ

Our first niece, Lauren Jean John, was born on Friday, October 21st. She is adorable. I can't wait to meet her. I want to kiss those cheeks so bad! Sadie informed me Lauren is Will's baby. That's close enough.


Can't wait for Meredith and Steven's little boy to arrive to round out the year of the John baby. 

Beantown

Oh, yeah, I went on a trip to Boston a couple weeks ago.

Excited in the airport

Elise and I escaped for 5 whole days of undivided attention. Did I trick you by all those posts about park trips and bubbles that went up? I love that you can tell blogger to have posts go up at a future date. I tend to get behind on blogging so I sit down and do bunch of posts at once and then have them go up at various times in the future.

Taken from my parents' front yard

 Back to Boston. It was one great trip. Much of it felt surreal. I have never had such a short period with such genuine celebration and deep mourning- a new niece born, a baby shower for a long-awaited nephew, and the loss of a close friend's baby.

On Friday my mom and I went shopping for some winter clothes for the girls and for some bathroom tile and fixtures. Naturally.

Love the matchy-matchy

Meredith and Steven arrived from NH that evening 

On Saturday morning, I got to be at my sister Meredith's baby shower. While all baby showers are happy, this one meant more than any other shower I have attended. It's been a hard journey for Meredith and Steven to get to this point. I am thrilled that they will soon (one month left!) be experiencing the joys and frustrations of parenthood. I am only slightly jealous that they are having a boy.

Louie modeled a hat baby boy Maxfield was given at the shower

Elise was just generally cute the whole time. 

Even when she had just woken up from a nap

The view in Meredith and Steven's neighborhood

On Sunday we headed up to New Hampshire with the Maxfields. I was super excited to see the amazing fall foliage, but unfortunately the colors peaked the week before we were there. There were still some gorgeous scenes, but Meredith said they didn't even compare to the previous week.

They live in this awesome old house with a huge empty barn in the back.

 On Sunday night we got to video chat with the newest Anthony John child- Lauren Jean. The feed froze for a while with Anthony making this sweet face, but since we could still hear them we just talked and laughed at him.

On Monday morning we went over to Dartmouth campus (where Steven is in medical school).

I think it is the prettiest college campus I have ever seen. The only downfall being that it is kind of in the middle of nowhere. And it is crazy expensive. And Meredith says the undergrad students are generally snobs.

 

Elise on her future college campus. 

(Actually, no. Unless she wins the lottery before she goes to college)

Elise loved breaking in her soon-to-born cousin's stroller

We ate some yummy lunch at Lou's restaurant. Everything was good except the muffin. If you go to Lou's, DON'T get the muffins. Believe the waitress when she tells you they are "earthy".

You can tell Leesie Lou was just thrilled to be there

On my drive back to Boston I attempted to get some pictures of the foliage. My attempts were dangerous and definitely not worth it.

Oh well.

We got back home and spent some more quality time with Nana and Papa

My dad is already up to his manipulative food antics with Louie. He fed her about 4 graham crackers in an effort to win her over. Whether or not he stole her heart remains to be seen, but he succeeded in drenching her clothes with drool and slobbery graham cracker crumbs.

She was absolutely thrilled to see him before we took off for the airport on Tuesday so maybe he did win her over.

When I saw Sadie and Daniel at the SLC airport Sadie sprinted over to me with tears in her eyes. She was nervously giggling like she wasn't sure if we were ever coming back. She kept hugging me and telling me she missed me. It was maybe the sweetest moment I have ever had with that crazy girl.  

 

I couldn't get her to stand still for a photo op in her preppy Dartmouth hoodie.

Sacred

I was privileged to be a part of the events surrounding Holland's funeral. The whole trip had this feeling of beautiful, solemn, serenity. It wasn't just beautiful in appearance, but a beautiful feeling surrounded everything.

I hate crying, like really hate it. I hate the loss of control and I always fight to hold in tears. In the past week and a half I discovered that sometimes it feels really good to just cry. And it's okay to cry; there is no need to hold it in. Why have I always resisted letting anyone see that I am actually human?

Holland was beautiful. I was nervous to see her because in the past viewings have made me uneasy. With my emotions so close to the surface, I thought I might just get hysterical, but the second I saw her I wanted to pick her up and kiss her chubby Ainge cheeks. She is literally the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Again, there was this beautiful, serene feeling. I cried a lot. As I sat in the viewing I reflected on how my life would be changed by this. Obviously there isn't the forced major change that Lexie and Nick are going through, but since the moment I heard the news from Lexie, I felt strongly I need to let this event change my life for the better. 

The funeral had this reverent feeling of love and warmth. We learned more about Holland's life and the influence she had, and will continue to have. You cannot escape the sadness that comes at the end of a life, especially when Holland's life was so short. However, the faith that the Cottles expressed that they know where Holland is and they will see her again was inspiring. What was even more inspiring was their strong testimony that they will be happy in this life again. I am not sure a lot of people would be able to express that feeling at their child's funeral. I cried through the whole thing, but again, there was this sacred feeling.

The drive from the funeral to the cemetery was breathtaking. I did not remember Portland being nearly as beautiful as it was this weekend. At one point there was this green canopy of trees over the road with pops of reds, yellows, and oranges. Holland's grave is in a cemetery on this big hill with a gorgeous view.

I came away from the trip spiritually uplifted and committed to changing my life because of Holland. I almost didn't want to go back to my life, but I did come back to my life and I am ready to improve it.

Because of Holland I am committed to changing my life in the following ways:
1. be more vulnerable (why have I fought crying so much my whole life?)
2. be more kind (what does it hurt? it only makes life better for everyone)
3. keep sacred things closer (my testimony and my family)

 

One of my favorites of Holland

To watch the video they showed at Holland's funeral go here

Warning: you WILL cry, but that's okay

The Cottle Family

Last weekend Nick, Lexie and Brizban lost their darling little Holland. She passed away in her sleep at 2 months old. I have had so many thoughts and feelings surrounding this that my brain can't shut off at night. Maybe one day I'll share some of them on my blog but not now. I have gone back and forth on whether or not to even mention it, but I am sharing it for one main purpose. 

Please pray for them. Lexie says she can almost physically feel the support of prayers. I know many of you have met them, and even if you haven't, send some prayers to the Big Man Upstairs on their behalf.

Discovery Park- Part 2

We loved Discovery Park so much that we went again last week. This time Mimi and Bear Paw (Sadie has taken to calling him Paco) met us there with Grandpa's nice camera. They got some amazing pictures of the girls. I won't add any captions. Just enjoy. Try not to pass out from the cuteness.