Loser Squared? A Good Thing

This is what the parking lots outside my office window look like today:

Yeah, apparently I didn't get the memo that only losers come to work here the day before Thanksgiving. I am a loser.

In other news, Daniel's flag football team lost last week in the elite eight round of the tournament. He is a loser.

Loser X Loser = Loser Squared
BUT...
Could a loser squared family (us) ultimately represent something positive?
I think I can safely assume that being a loser represents something negative. However, a negative multiplied by a negative gives you a positive. Thus, having both members of our family be losers is a good thing!
Here are a few reasons why:
1)I am at work, with no one else, getting paid to blog.
2)No more freezing football games

I am thankful for...

THIS

Letter to the Womb

To Lexie and Nick's Unborn Baby:

First, I'd like to be the first to say to YOU, personally, congratulations on being conceived. It is already clear how stubborn you are because your creation took, well, a lot of hard work. We'll leave it at that.

Don't get cocky just because you were conceived. You are strange-looking at this stage of your life. You probably only recently lost your tail and I can almost guarantee that even Steve Buscemi is better looking than you. While you may have arms and legs, you probably don't even have eyelids yet! Yeah, come back to me when you can blink!

Now on to some advice. You better appreciate the time you have right now. You don't have to do a single thing for yourself. Your mother/placenta do it all! You've got a pretty sweet deal. Don't forget it. (Don't you forget it either, Nick.)

Lastly, I'd like to request that you refrain from any bad behavior between the dates of January 15th and 19th of 2009. This includes, but is not limited to, the following behaviors: any extreme shifting causing discomfort to your mom, zapping all her energy, giving her strong aversions to delicious foods, and anything else that could affect my trip to Oregon. While that may seem selfish, I have known your mother longer than you so you have to do it. That being said, if you fulfill your end of the deal, you will be met with many presents from me upon your birth in May.

Thanks Cottle fetus! Oh, and when your father tells you that it's normal for a grown man to twirl, skip, and dance like him, he's wrong.

Can't wait to meet you!

Love, Carly

Addendum

Remember my post on how awesome the police log is in Belmont? Well here are some recent gems from the log:

8:08 a.m. A Stony Brook Road resident reported someone drove over his lawn, for the third time in two years. He believes it was deliberate.
3:54 p.m. An Orchard Street resident reported he believes his landlord and landlord’s daughters may be photographing him and his children in their backyard.
7:56 a.m. A Hillside Terrace man reported damage to his Honda Civic. The car was resting on bags of mulch and rocks and had been stripped of all four tires and rims. The rims were valued at about $500. The man said he heard noises from outside between 3 and 5 a.m. but did not investigate.
The man called police about an hour later to report a series of unexplainable events over the past five years. He reportedly said cell phones and other phones in the house were targeted by a GPS device that caused them to continue to ring after the batteries were removed, a phenomenon that Verizon technicians were unable to explain, as cell phones cannot receive incoming calls or ring if they have no source of power. Police are investigating.
12:03 p.m. A Pleasant Street resident and physician in Boston reported the mother of one of his patients, a Malden woman, attempted several times to deepen their relationship to a level he was not comfortable with. Police contacted the woman, who said it was a cultural misunderstanding, and that in her native country doctors have a more personal relationship with their patients. Both parties were satisfied.

"H - a - double l - o - double u - double e - n" Spells Halloween

Another Halloween season has come and gone. Here is how we celebrated:

1. Carving pumpkins.

Before:

During:
After:
The best Marauder ever.
Make sure you check out how weird Daniel is in this picture. He is obsessed with making random objects into mustaches. Maybe that's because he can't grow one himself. Oh, snap.

2. Attending a Haunted House (yard?)
One of my co-workers goes all out for Halloween. She decorates her yard with all kinds of creepy things. She spends thousands of dollars on the whole production. This picture shows the cemetery section of the yard, which is just a small part. The fog machine made the picture look all fuzzy.I wanted Daniel to make a "scared" face, but all he did was this stupid pose. I was mad. Still am.

3. Handing out candy

After complaining about the lack of trick-or-treaters at our apartment, the Gaineses offered to let us hand out candy at their house, a hot spot for candy collection. Anna (daughter Gaines) was adorable in her pumpkin costume, but Daniel was a little creepy. We were impressed with the morals of some of the trick-or-treaters. One kid, after seeing Ben in a Red Sox shirt, said "I hate the Red Sox. I don't want your candy." He really didn't take any! Apparently Jerry Seinfeld was wrong; not all kids are only thinking "get candy, get candy, get candy".

4. Dressing Up.

Garlan came over dressed as some sort of a grease monkey/wide receiver/tough guy. His jumpsuit was huge. This is me as a headless mechanic.
Daniel dressed up as fat guy in a little coat. He always thinks it is funny to try to put on Carly-sized clothes. This time it fit even less than usual. I found a button on the other side of the apartment a few days later.

Hope you all had a happy and razor-filled-candy-less Halloween!

Tag, Picture Version

Lexie forced me to post the fourth picture of my fourth picture folder. Here we are as total posers. This picture is from December 2005, our first holiday break as a married couple. We went to Texas and while there, the Nielson's family friend allowed us to use his ranch. It was my first time seeing and actually shooting a real gun. It was exciting, although I have no desire to ever shoot a gun again. We were supposed to pretend we were hardcore ranchers/hill-billies/hunters/whatever you want to call it. We just kind of look silly. I tag: COURTNEY NIELSON (I am going to make inappropriate comments on your blog/facebook wall every day until you do this), Margaret T-P, Kimberlee L.H.V., Jennnn (Singer), and the Palmers

"And D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period."

Belmont, my hometown, was once called the most boring town in Massachusetts by the Boston Globe. Perhaps it is because there are 14 banks, no fast food restaurants, and no alcohol-serving restaurants that Belmont received that label. Neighborhoodscout.com writes, "We found that the crime rate in Belmont is one of the lowest in the nation for its size. This means Belmont is one of the safest places in America in which to live for its size, a very important finding." Now, I am not saying this to complain; Belmont is a great place to live.

You can only imagine the amazing events reported in the fire/police log, which is printed in the weekly newspaper. The following come from the log over the past month.

Typical Fire Department Day (this is everything they dealt with that day):
10:17 a.m. A fire alarm malfunctioned at the Belmont Springs plant on Country Club Lane.
12:31 p.m. A smoke detector malfunctioned at Watertown Savings Bank in Belmont Center.
1:24 p.m. A smoke detector malfunctioned in a Maple Street residence.

The police log has old reliables (patients escaping from the mental hospital, "serious" traffic violations/car accidents, teenagers getting arrested for drinking):
3:55 p.m. A 27-year-old Hingham man was reported missing from McLean Hospital. He was located around 9:30 a.m. the following morning in Weymouth.
8 p.m. A 16-year-old Winchester girl was found to be intoxicated at the Belmont-Winchester football game. The assistant athletic director from Winchester arranged for her to get home safely.
7:51 p.m. A Belmont man driving a Mistubishi Eclipse was cited for operating with defective equipment and failing to use a seatbelt following a traffic stop on Beech Street. The man reportedly drove by a police cruiser with his stereo turned up so high the cruiser vibrated from the bass. The car also reportedly had a defective license plate light and a broken tail light.
5:36 p.m. A Belmont man driving a 2006 Hyundai was turning into the parking lot of a convenience store on the corner of Brighton and Pleasant streets when his car was reportedly struck by a Charlestown woman on a bicycle. A witness said the woman looked down for a minute then collided with the car. She was treated at the scene by the fire and rescue and taken to Mt. Auburn Hospital for further care.

Then you have your unexpecteds (crazy people, paranoid people, funny things stolen)
9:43 p.m. A Walnut Street resident reported a man jumping up and down on a car. Police found the man wearing only boxer shorts and with cuts on his face. He was reportedly unable to supply police with his name or address, and was not carrying any identification. He was taken to Mt. Auburn Hospital for treatment, and hospital staff reportedly refused to release his name to officers.
4:56 p.m. An A Street resident reported receiving unsolicited e-mails containing references to child pornography.
10:18 a.m. A Ross Road resident reported a man parked his black pick-up truck outside her residence, got out and started taking pictures of the house. She said he came to the door and said he really liked the work they had done on the house, then left. He is described as a white man, in his 50s, about 5 feet 8 inches tall and weighing 185 pounds.
9:30 a.m. A set of keys and a pumpkin were reported stolen from the lobby of a Lexington Street condominium.
10:05 p.m. An Arlington man reported he parked his Honda in front of the Payson Park Church around 7 p.m., and returned to find his trunk open and two trombones, valued at $2,500 each, missing from the car. There were no signs of forced entry to the trunk; police believe he may have accidentally activated the push button on his key chain, causing the trunk to open and allowing someone who passed by to help themselves to the instruments.
2:49 p.m. A Belmont woman was driving on Winter Street when her car was struck by an orange thrown from a school bus. She followed the bus up Winter Street and spoke to the driver when it stopped to let students off. An eighth grade student was identified as the pitcher and administrators at the middle school will follow up.

I just love the funny things reported and the level of detail provided to the Belmontians. I was a little disappointed in the selection to choose from. One of my favorites from high school was a woman calling the police because teenagers were laughing at her. If you ever want to read the Belmont Police/Fire log go here.