The Females

On this Mother's Day I have been thinking about all the great women I have in my life. These women help me to be a better person, and in turn, better mother. 

First up: friends. I have some amazing friends. Friends since childhood, since college, since the earliest mom years, and even since just last year. My friendships with these women enrich my life. Some of them have been through unimaginable things and I am in awe of them. Some of them serve me more than I deserve. Some of them respond to every crazy health question at any hour (ahem. Melissa). All of them make my life better.

Next: mother-in-law. Carolyn is one of the most thoughtful and creative people I know. She sends little care packages for each holiday, often with amazing hand-made items. I do not attempt to compete with her crafting ability. One of my favorite things about Carolyn is she never wants to miss out when we are all together. She will sit on the couch half-asleep for hours, but if you ask her a question she will insist she is awake, sometimes to the point of being mad we are accusing her of sleeping. I also love all her little sayings, such as "what's up with that?" "nutritious and delicious" "the scoop-de-doop" and "cool, refreshing beverage". Carolyn is constantly serving others. I wish I could be as patient as she is. My kids are very lucky to have her as their Mimi.

Third: sisters. I have wonderful sisters. I learn from each one. 

My older sister Meredith puts an incredible amount of effort into motherhood. She has twin 1-year-olds and a 3 1/2 year old and her husband is a medical resident (aka gone most of the time). I imagine if I were in her shoes I would feel content with just keeping my kids fed and occasionally bathed. Meredith puts tons of effort into doing fun and educational things with her kids. 

My middle sister Alicia teaches me about being non-judgmental. She is open about her past struggle with depression and helps remind me to take a step back and consider what others might be going through that I don't see or understand. I love when she laughs hard and covers her mouth. Her daughter Addy is one of the smiliest children I have ever seen.

My youngest sister Hillary has a huge heart. I have been so impressed with her as she spent this school year as a first-time teacher in Detroit. It was incredibly difficult from the get-go, as she was hired as a math teacher and was told just before school started she would be teaching physics instead. Most of her students come from difficult home situations and some are even homeless. Hillary has spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on her students. She keeps a drawer of food to give out to them. She averages 12 hour days at work and then gives out her cell phone number so she can help more when she's at home.

Finally: mother. My mom is not your typical Mormon home-maker (not that there's anything wrong with that). My mom worked as a computer programmer until I was 8 (at which time she gave birth to her 6th kid) and then got her teaching certificate when I was 16 and began teaching high school physics. She is incredibly smart and throws herself into everything she does, whether it is teaching or fulfilling her church calling. I remember her talking about not being able to sleep the weeks leading up to Girl's Camp because her mind was too busy thinking of logistics and ideas for camp. Another thing I learned from my mother is to always follow through on commitments. Her life was understandably busy, with 6 kids, but my mom always showed up. One of my favorite things from my childhood is that my mom took the time to tuck each one of us into bed every night and do happy and sads (share 1 happy and 1 sad thing from our day). This guaranteed we each had a few minutes of one on one time with her every day. And finally, I feel like my mom was real. If we pointed out things that were unfair in life, she'd acknowledge and discuss it, but most likely tell us "life isn't fair". If we had a question about religion she would take the time to discuss it and not shy away from or downplay it. She shared past struggles. She never told us we were the best at something if we weren't. She apologized when she thought she made mistakes in her parenting. I remember her apologizing after yelling at us and telling us she really wanted to work on that, but the funny thing is, I don't remember her yelling very much. I love watching her interact with my kids now. She is a very fun grandmother.